Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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