I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
