You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
