Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize