why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
