so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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