Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
