ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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