You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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