the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
