I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
