Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I can't put those talents on a resume
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize