I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
