Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
