Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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