Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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