it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
