Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
