checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
