Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
