he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So much rum. So many feels.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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