I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Boobs speak an international language.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
