I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
