ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
