Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
