my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm getting married
To pizza
If I die, sorry about rent.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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