Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
