Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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