We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
