Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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