Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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