Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
