You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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