Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
