I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize