dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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