Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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