I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
