eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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