Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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