they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just googled if crying burns calories
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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