I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
