There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
