omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
