I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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