If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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