Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
