just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
