ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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