worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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