yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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