I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
