Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
