Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
