My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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