"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
