you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
