Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
