Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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