I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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