i'm signing you up for texting rehab
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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